Welcome to my world...get rid of that junk - Part 2

Jill Martin, a Today Show contributor, writes in her book, "I Have Nothing To Wear", that women should get rid of 75% of their closets.  That means going through all those clothes, shoes, scarves and belts and finding the 25% that you can't live without.  I love a good challenge.  In fact, I was so inspired after I watched Jill's segment on Today that I ran upstairs to get started. At the end of my great closet purge I ended up getting rid of two pairs of jeans, a black vest and a sweater.  Four items.  Not even close to 75% of my closet.  So where did I go wrong?  Or should I say, where did I go right?

Several years ago I heard a professional organizer share tips on how to keep closets under control.  She advised that for every new item you buy you should get rid of an old item.  I thought this was an ingenious idea.

I loved her advice so much that I have made it an ongoing habit.  The reason I didn't have 75% of my closet to purge was because I've learned how to keep my closet under control.

Everything I own is something that I actually wear.  At the end of each season I will make another assessment and if there are items that have gone unworn, they will eventually make it to the give-away pile.

So, how do we get started, and how do we keep our closets under control?

• Schedule a day to thoroughly go through your closets.

• Assess what you have and make piles.

• Keep items that you absolutely love, wear or use on a consistent basis.

• Donate items that do not fit properly or you haven't worn for 6 months to a year.  Anything that has been shoved to the back corner of your closet should probably go.

• Maybe items are those that you may want to think about.  At the end of the day go through this pile and make your final decision.

This is also a wonderful way to teach your kiddos how to manage their own stuff.  I believe that training our kids on how to do a good closet and toy cleanse will give them a tremendous skill for years to come.

Here's what I did with my girls:

• Schedule a portion of the day for a little one-on-one time.
• Let the child Choose the area of the room/closet we will be focussing on first.  (I like to pick two areas that we will tackle.  The child chooses the order in which we work.  This gives them a sense of control over the situation.)
• Have the child Expose the stuff and lay in on the floor.
• Allow the child to Assess items and put them in the appropriate piles.

This year my eight-year-old was responsible for going through all her drawers and hanging clothes and trying everything on to see what fit and what she had outgrown.  She has learned how to make piles without my constant supervision.  When she was done I checked on her work.  She had re-organized her drawers with the clothes that still fit, and had put everything else in a pile ready for donation.  I've been working with her for a long time, and she is becoming quite the pro.

My six-year-old struggles a bit more in this area.  She is a very responsible little girl, but has a completely different temperament.  I allow her to take her time and give her space to process as we work.

One of the things I have tried to do as we have gone through toys and placed them in piles, is to verbally walk them through the process.  I will ask questions like, "Why would we put this in the give-away pile?" or "What makes this item a keeper?"  I have found that by talking them through it, and encouraging them to articulate why they are deciding to keep or get rid of something, allows them to fully understand what we are doing.  It's not just about getting the job done, but knowing the why behind it.  At least, that's my approach.

I would LOVE to know if/when you have done your own closet cleansing, and how did you do it?  Have any of you tried to purge 75% of your own closets?  If you have children, how have you brought them along in the process?  If you have any additional small-space living tips, please share them.  I will post them in an upcoming edition of this small-space living series!

Welcome to my world...get rid of that junk - Part 1

How a girl who grew up in a third-world country could accumulate massive quantities of junk is beyond me.  I am ashamed.  I have been known to hoard things: unnecessary things; rainy day things; sunny day things; miscellaneous, random, where-did-this-come-from things.  What can I say?  Life happens.  Babies happen.  Ten years of marriage happen.  Busy lives and transitions happen.  And the next thing you know...you've got stuff.  Even in a small home. The thing about accumulating junk in a small house is that you notice it a lot more quickly because, well, space is limited.  And before you know it, that little pile of junk has become a mountain of junk.  It's scary.  The temptation that I struggle with in moments like these is to start entertaining thoughts like, "This house just isn't big enough anymore," or "I can't handle this cramped space.  We need a bigger place."  Thoughts like this happen when you live in a small house.  It's inevitable.  However, thinking like this can be a distraction from the bigger issue- the hoarding of useless junk.

After I've put the "I-need-a-bigger-house" thoughts out of my mind, I can start tackling the mountain before me.

As a rule of thumb I go through my house 2-3 times a year and do a massive purge: clothes, old toys, papers, magazines, and miscellaneous things that find their way into my home.  Now that my kids are getting older, and we seem to be bringing unbelievable quantities of papers and binders home throughout the year, I find that a good paper purge is in order on a daily - yes, I said daily - basis.  The paper alone will eat up your house and spit you out if you don't keep it under control.  This I promise you.

Small-space living calls for some serious de-junking of your life.  It's the only way to survive.  And I might add, the more you get rid of the more free you will feel.  Simplifying is rewarding in more ways than one.

De-Junking the House 101:

• EXPOSE your junk!  Go through your house and open up closets, cabinets, drawers. and kitchen pantry.  Pull things out from under the bed.

• ASSESS what you have and start making piles.

• KEEP anything that you use regularly or absolutely love.

• DONATE anything that is in good condition that you no longer need/use.  Bag items up and haul to Goodwill/Salvation Army or any other non-profit organization that will receive donations.

• SELL any items that could possibly put a little extra $$ in your pocket.

• THROW AWAY anything that is broken, torn, over-used, or stained.

It's a simple practice - EXPOSE, ASSESS, KEEP, DONATE, SELL, THROW AWAY.  Next week we'll take a more focussed look at closet purging and how to bring your kiddos along for the ride, turning the process into teachable moments.  Join me for Part 2 of getting rid of that junk! :)

Welcome to my world...creating special places from extra spaces

Where on earth does one find extra space in a small house where every square inch is accounted for? The answer to this question takes a little creativity, planning, time, and teamwork.  Our bonus space upstairs - our saving grace - was an eye sore to me for three years.  I hated it.  Because of its odd shape, I had a difficult time seeing its potential to be anything other than a giant toy box with a desk.  I rearranged furniture on a regular basis, hoping to make peace with my zig-zag shaped room.

Then, ding! A light went on in my head.  Perusing through- or more like desperately inhaling one of my decorating books- I found a picture of a small home office with a window seat and built-in shelving.  And there it was:  the answer to all my bonus room woes.  Duplicating this idea for our home would kill three birds with one stone: add seating, storage, and charm (and I'm all about charm).

Once we had the plan, then everything else fell into place: the wall color, the accent colors, the home office.  My creative juices started flowing, and I could finally "see" the potential for this room.  We got rid of our over-sized computer desk and scaled down to a computer armoire - which I bought second-hand.  We also enlisted the help of my in-laws.  They are two of the most gifted do-it-yourself people I know.  My father-in-law is a skilled craftsman (although he would deny this fact emphatically), and my mother-in-law is a seamstress extraordinaire.  Together, they are a powerful team...and have been a huge blessing to us.  We put our heads together, using the picture from my decorating book as a guide, and began planning out the window-seat wall unit.

From the moment I came up with the idea for our bonus room to the finished product was two years.  Sometimes these things take time, but they are well worth the wait.  I love our window seat.  It's a great place to flop with a good book or catch up on a little e-mail.  There is a place for random toys, shelves for books, nick-nacks and pictures, and ample seating for people.  The transformation of this room has been an incredible gift to our family.

Other individual spaces can be created with a little tweaking.  In our living room we have a big red chair.  It is my special spot.  That's where I have my quiet time in the morning, and where I like to flop in the evening (Joel loves this special spot too, so in the evening it's first come/ first serve :)).  I have fluffy pillows that makes sitting there super comfy and warm.

My patio in the summertime is another example.  Our outdoor space has been a work-in-progress.  This year I finally broke down and bought patio furniture.  In the past it's been "pay for a root canal...or buy patio furniture?"  You can take a guess at which one we opted for.  This year we were able to take the plunge and add a little patio seating to the exterior decor of our home.  And I must say, I am loving it.

Other suggestions:

• The landing.  You can create something sweet at the top of your stairs by adding a little shelf, a wall collage of pictures, trunk, plant, or small chair.
• Your bedroom.  I talked about this in my post about the master suite.  You can read about it here.
• A corner.  Depending on the layout of your home, look for a corner that shows potential for becoming a special spot.  There is a great post written by Sarah over at A Beach Cottage that demonstrates this concept well.
• It could even be one side of your couch.  Add a couple of fluffy throw pillows, a soft blanket, and you've created your own special place.

Next week we'll face our junk square in the eye and show it who's boss.  Thanks for joining me...see you next week!

Welcome to my world...before we go any further

Today marks Week Five of my new Friday series on small-space-living.  As I was putting it all together I felt I needed to make sure I took a moment to talk about one of the biggest obstacles I have faced while living in a small home.  It has nothing to do with size and everything to do with my attitude.  This has truly been a journey, and I hope you'll hang in here with me as we continue along. :) If you are new to my blog and you would like to catch up on my small space living series, you can do so by clicking on the following links:

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

There is nothing more stressful than playing the "keeping up with the Joneses" game.  And I'll confess, I am guilty of playing this at various seasons in my life.  And I think if we were all willing to be gut-wrenchingly honest, there is probably a small part of us that is always looking at someone else's life...and comparing.

We could blame it on the American dream.  The one that tells us that true happiness is a beautiful home, a happy marriage, two-and-a-half children, a dog, and a pristine minivan/SUV/station wagon/Hybrid something...take your pick.  And until we've attained all these things we're somehow missing out on the good life.  But the world is a different place today.  I'm not going to say that the American dream is dead, but I do believe it has changed .  And I find the most challenging obstacle for me in all of this is not so much the American dream - that sort of sits out there in space somewhere just out of my reach - but changing my mindset.

Letting go of the American dream.  This is not to say that we won't one day move into a more spacious home (I'm not anti-large home at all).  But if that is our number-one goal, then I wonder if we've gotten off track somewhere.  I wonder if chasing after the American dream is really what life is supposed to be about.  And if this is all we're striving for, I think we're going to be very discouraged and frustrated when life takes a turn in a different direction.  There are some things that are simply out of our control, and the best way to live at peace with ourselves and our circumstances, is pull out of the rat race that tells us what we need or should have, and start living in the present.  Making the most of the life God has given us today.

I could go on and on about how to maximize small spaces, how to organize and stay organized, and how to successfully purge your house of miscellaneous papers and such, but all that is meaningless until your mindset has changed.  First, get to that point where the American dream is either forgotten or placed on the back burner for a while.  It is only then that you can move forward and embrace small-space living.  There is no reward for trying to keep up with other people.  It will surely drive you mad and drive you deep into debt.

So, before we go any further, I would urge you to do a little soul searching.  Discover what unfulfilled dreams you've been holding on to that only seem to keep you from moving ahead, come to grips with where you are, and ask God to give you a fresh perspective.  Only then can you find the peace you've been longing for.  And only then can you embrace your sweet small space.

"Contentment does not come from the acquisition of what you want.  It comes from the appreciation of how much you already have." - Ray Noah, Lead Pastor, Portland Christian Center

Next week we'll look at ways to create individual spaces out of extra space.  Time to get those creative juices flowing!

Welcome to my world...the master of the house

A very long time ago I heard a woman speak about how to create a lovely home.   Her audience was a group of pastors' wives, and her primary point was the importance of focusing on the master bedroom before tackling any other room in the house.  The "love nest" should be every woman's priority.  I wish I could say I took her advice to heart and have been an obedient little pastor's wife, but in this simple thing I have failed.

The "love nest" is very important to me; however, in the three homes Joel and I have lived in, I have found myself setting up the kitchen and living room - and now the children's room - before focussing on the master bedroom.  This is no reflection on the sate of my marriage.  Honest.  I'm just a practical girl.  I spend more time in my kitchen than I do my bedroom, so the kitchen comes first.

So why am I sharing all of this with you?  Simple.  The master bedroom, even after six years in this house, is still a work in progress.  I'm still tweaking.  The former me would have put this post on hold - for 2 to 3 years - until it looked the way it does in my dreams.  But for the sake of this series, I decided to lay down my pride and give you a little preview of the master of the house.

Before moving into our home, I imagined the most peaceful place on earth.  I daydreamed about my favorite locations in the world: Aix en Provence, Mombasa, Paris, Maasai Mara, the East Coast.  If I could wake up every morning in one spot, where would it be?  And that is how I put our master bedroom together.

I'm constantly tweaking it, and I even have plans to repaint (don't tell my husband!) because it never feels "done" to me.  Still, I get a small dose of St. Simon's Island, Georgia, when I hide away in my room.

While we haven't completely banished the children from our bedroom, we do have boundaries.  It's not a playroom.  Plain and simple.  This is sacred space, and that's how I survive.

The master suite is the one place where I can escape from little toys and little shoes for a few hours.  A place where I can recharge, calm down, and feel refreshed.

Believe it or not, this has not put a damper on my relationship with my children.  They have a respect and understanding that the master bedroom is a special place.  It doesn't hurt children to have boundaries.  It teaches them respect for other people and how to conduct themselves in other homes.  Plus, making the master bedroom a room set-apart models to my children that the relationship between mom and dad is important and a priority.

Here are a few hints on small-space master suites:

• If you have children, keep the master suite your own.  I'm all for sharing, but not this one thing.
• Create a peaceful place.  Whatever color calms you down, use it on your walls and accent colors.
• Stay away from big, bulky furniture pieces.  Big furniture will swallow your room whole.  Try to find pieces with character that enhance the look of the room.
• Think storage.  There are wonderful closet storage units that help minimize clutter but also give you more closet space.  The less clothes and other items you need in the bedroom the better.

Thanks for stopping by today.  Next week, we'll talk about the biggest obstacle to overcome in small space living.  I hope you'll join me!

Welcome to my world...sleeping arrangements

"How do you do it?  How do you sleep all three kids in one room?"

I get asked this question...a lot.  Honestly, I'm no supermom, so I don't usually have a good answer.  I guess the one thing we had going for us was that our kids have never known anything but sharing a room together.  This is the way it has always been.  I shared a room with my sister until we were in junior high.  And even then, we would sneak into each other's rooms every so often just to be together.  Siblings sharing a bedroom was not a foreign concept to me, so naturally I always figured that my kids would share a room, too.  However, the idea of having my son share bedroom space with my girls was a little foreign to me.  This mental block had to be removed quickly because there really wasn't any other option in our case.

So, how did I do it?  Here are a few "tips" I've learned and try to put into practice:

• Attitude is 90% of the battle.  Kids are very perceptive, and they will quickly pick up on your apprehension, fear or frustration, regarding small-space sleeping arrangements.  You don't have to fake it, but I would try really hard to work out your own feelings before working with your kids.  When you have come to a happy place with the idea, then you can start talking it up to your little ones, including them in the planning process.
• Be creative.  There are wonderful resources out there on how to decorate and put together shared sleeping spaces.  Better Homes and Gardens has a big idea book full of pictures and guides for those of us who need a little jump start.  I also found Pottery Barn Kids to be another excellent resource.  While you may not be able to afford their prices, perusing their website is free, and they have an entire section on how to plan children's shared sleeping spaces.  Pick and choose the ideas that will work best for your children's room and go from there.
• Teach personal responsibility.  The older my children get, the more responsibilities they receive.  The oldest one is taking care of her part of the bedroom.  Because we are working with small space, extra clutter, clothes on the floor, and unmade beds are magnified.  For some moms this might not be a big deal, but it is for me.  Therefore, my children have the primary jobs of making their beds in the morning, picking up clothes and putting them away, cleaning up their toys when they are done playing with them, and tidying up their room.  I believe it is very healthy for them to have these responsibilities because one day they will be sharing space at college, dealing with flatmates after college, and then later on in marriage.  What a great skill they are developing in showing respect for others.
• Find a place for those treasures.  What my children perceive as treasure I tend to perceive as junk.  However, I can't very well go around throwing all their special things away, as tempting as it is at times.  Therefore, I have made sure that each child has a place (shelves and baskets) where they can stow their special treasures away.  They each have a place to display keepsakes as well as storage for journals, papers, and miscellaneous items they hold dear.  The small space keeps them from saving everything, so they really have to think about what is truly important to them and then get rid of the rest.

It is becoming more and more common these days for siblings to share bedroom space due to the growing number of families downsizing their homes.  I did my best to give you an overview on how we do things in our home; however, I realize there may be additional questions.  Please don't hesitate to ask me anything on this topic that you would find helpful.  I am more than happy to share more details with you.

Next week, we'll take a peek at the master suite - a no-kid zone.

Welcome to my world...lives have changed & so has the living room

We've lived in our charming little townhome for six years now.  When we moved in, Sydney was barely two years old, and I was still wearing Brooklyn in a baby sling.  The "plan" was to buy something small and affordable, sell in 2-3 years, buy something bigger with a yard and extra bedroom, add baby #3 and live happily ever after.  Then the housing market fell apart, and baby #3 decided to join our family two years earlier than expected.  Six years later we find ourselves "stuck" in our starter home.

C'est la vie.

As I mentioned last week, I had to accept the way things are.  Joel and I had to let go of our "plan".  We had to, or else we would be miserable right now.  And really, there are worse things than being stuck in a small home.  For instance: losing a home, losing a loved one, or losing a job.  I count my blessings that all we lost was our plan.  Sometimes I feel like I just might be losing my mind, but then reality gives me a good smack on the head when my kids say how thankful they are...for our home.

The downstairs "great room" - consisting of the living room, dining room, and kitchen - is where we do most of our living.  It has evolved quite a bit over the past six years, going from Kiwi Green walls to an updated Gray Morning along with one or two new throw pillows.  We recently transitioned from our kiddie table to bar stools which was a big moment for me.  I'm still a huge fan of my kids' artwork plastered all over my fridge, and I'm not willing to let that one go just yet.

A few things that have helped maximize our living space are:

• Quickly discard anything outgrown or no longer useful (Goodwill practically knows me by name).  For a brief season our house was stuffed with baby items (they take up such a huge amount of space).  If you are in that boat, trust me when I say, this season will pass more quickly than you can bat an eye. Embrace it.  Cherish it.  Enjoy it.  When it's gone you may have more space, but you won't have this time again.
• No coffee table.  I make the most out of our end tables.  Removing the coffee table gives us more floor space and creates an illusion that the room is bigger than it actually is.
• De-clutter on a regular basis.  Clutter happens.  It's a fact of life, but it doesn't have to take over your house.  If you can stay on top of the clutter you'll feel less and less like the walls are closing in on you.
• Fill drab spaces with things you love.  I'm very sentimental, and I have dozens of family heirlooms and keepsakes from various travels that I use to decorate.  It doesn't necessarily create more space, but it will make you feel good.
• Make it all about you.  I don't mean this in an egotistical, self-centered type way.  What I mean is, don't worry about what other people think.  Make your home look and feel the way you want it to.  This may take time.  That's okay.  Tweaking is one of my favorite hobbies, and the longer I live here, the more this house looks like me.

Thanks for coming over.  I hope you've enjoyed.  Next week, we'll take a look upstairs and talk sleeping arrangements.

Welcome to my world...

I've decided to take a brief break from some of my "deeper" posts to share with you a glimpse into my little world.  Julia, over at Hooked on Houses, posted a story about a family that downsized from their 2500 square foot home to a 320 square foot home.  It was intriguing, to say the least.  And it certainly put some of my "little house" issues into perspective which in turn inspired me to give others a peek into my own small space living.  No.  We don't live in 320 square feet, nor do we plan to scale down from where we are.  (Heavens, no!)  Compared to this family our house looks like a mansion.  But squeeze a growing, busy family of five into a two-bedroom townhome, and things get interesting.

I used to say all kinds of evil things about the economy and the downturn of the housing market.  But I discovered, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, that sometimes my plans, my wants, have to adjust.  No good comes from whining, and growth can't always be measured by the amount of wealth we gain, but by how well we manage what God has given us right now.  Instead of cursing the economy I have found a reason to say thank you.  I've learned a great deal about myself and my family by living in a small house.  I have learned how to be creative - turning every square inch into usable living space.  I have learned that extra stuff is just stuff, and I don't need it.  I have learned how to use color to bring a room alive, and how to comfortably fit three kiddos into one bedroom.  I've learned the art of making the most of family dinner time, and how to make sure everyone has a "special" space of their own.  It's been a challenge, but one I've grown to enjoy.

And so, I want to welcome you to my world.  I want to open up my home and share with you, over the next few weeks, the real stuff that my life is made of.  I hope you'll enjoy.